Thoughts on marriage

Well, congratulations you’ve successfully made it to my first blog post 🙂 I’ve been going back and forth in my mind whether to create a blog or not, and today for whatever reason I thought I’d give it a try…no guarantees that this will be a frequent thing though (this may just be my one and only blog post ever!)…we’ll see where God leads.

Today is my and my husband’s 2nd wedding anniversary. Hence, here are some ramblings about married life.

1) Lots of people talk trash about marriage and/or joke about it in negative ways.

The good ol’ ball and chain. When you sign your marriage license you’re just signing your life away…marriage is nothing but a bunch of useless hard work…that kind of stuff. Well, marriage IS hard work. VERY hard work. If it was easy there wouldn’t be such a high divorce rate. It’s hard to be married to a sinful, imperfect person. It’s hard to forgive, and then forgive again. It’s hard to be vulnerable. But you know what? Marriage is also very VERY good. When you are married you will experience a sweetness unlike really anything else this side of Heaven. Just knowing that you and your spouse will be together for the rest of your lives through the good, bad, and ugly is really amazing. I know that my husband knows all my sins, all my ugly….and he still loves me and is committed to me til death do we part. That is an amazing feeling. Don’t overlook the blessings of marriage just because it takes hard work.

PS-Whether married or not, don’t talk trash about marriage or make jokes about marriage in a negative way. GOD created marriage…it was His idea and institution. “Let marriage be held in honor among all…” -Hebrews 13:4

2) God’s main purpose in your marriage is NOT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!! (*gasp*) Rather, His main purpose in your marriage is to glorify Himself and to make you holy. If you want to become more Christlike then get married (haha). But seriously. Marriage will quickly show you how self-centered you are. Marriage is the perfect place to die to self and put someone else’s needs above your own. And do it again the next day. And the day after that..and for the rest of your life. Focus on serving your spouse and don’t expect anything in return. Serve them because it gives glory to Jesus.

3) You know how everyone says romance dies after the honeymoon? Well, it’s a lie. Here’s the key to keeping romance alive…..sacrifice for your marriage. Make it your #2 priority (after Jesus). Your marriage should come before your kids. (After all, you are in a covenant with your husband. You aren’t in a covenant relationship with your kids. They are under your care for 18 years give or take. You are with your spouse for life.) Spend money on your marriage (date nights, getaways, etc). Spend TIME on your marriage. Invest in your spouse. Turn off the TV and get to know the heart of the person who shares your last name. Sure, my hubby doesn’t always bring me a bouquet of roses every time I’d like him to, but you know what? He’s aLOT more romantic than that now. He’s been known to do dishes at night for me when I’m tired. He watches girly shows sometimes (even though I know he hates them) because he just wants to make me happy. The first time he saw our daughter walk, looked into my eyes, we smiled at each other and he cried. Now THAT is romantic. I’d take that over roses any day!

4) Don’t focus on your spouse’s flaws. We’ve all got ’em. I once heard a woman point out that every man no matter who you marry has dirty socks. We all sin and we all have struggles. God tells us to fix our minds on the positives.  ^{Philippians 4:8 says, “}Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” This verse applies to all of life, including your marriage. Focus on what your spouse does right. Thank God for their strengths, and pray God would help them with their shortcomings. Be your spouse’s biggest support and encourager instead of tearing them down with your words.

5) Marriage won’t fulfill you. Only Jesus can do that. If you are expecting another person to fill a void in your life and/or heart, I’m sorry to say you will soon be disappointed. Soon after your honeymoon is over you will realize you’re not lying in bed next to Mr. FillYourVoid. You’re lying next to another imperfect human being. Want to REALLY feel loved and fulfilled? Like the deep, deep down “my heart is at peace, and my life has purpose, and I am valuable” type of fulfilled….take your eyes off of your spouse and focus them on the Cross. There is a Man who loves you so much He died for you. He wants nothing more than for you to love Him back. He created a void in your heart that NOTHING can fill except HIM. By now you know, His name is Jesus.

To sum it all up, I absolutely LOVE being married to my husband. Marriage is a blessing. It is hard, but it is oh, so good. These past two years have been simultaneously hard and sweet….imperfect, messy, and beautiful. I love you JBS and Happy 2nd Anniversary!

Soli Deo Gloria