Comparison- Be Gone!

I have a heart that is quick to compare.

I very distinctly remember being a young girl and visiting a friend’s house for the first time. She had tons of expensive dolls- the same brand that I had always hoped for yet never owned (disclaimer** Mom and Dad, if you’re reading this- thanks for never buying me those outrageously priced dolls and teaching me that happiness doesn’t come from “stuff”!!) Anyway, I remember still to this day how as a young girl I thought, “she has tons of these dolls and I have none. This isn’t fair.” The jealousy crept upon my soul in an instant like a thick dark fog.

To be completely honest, as an adult my heart still has the same tendencies. I look at other women or other families and I quickly compare. I compare their stuff to my stuff, their family to my family, their figure or health or lifestyle. And I realize how closely sin is right there waiting to send a fog over my soul just like it did when I was a young girl jealous of someone’s toys. I’d say that 99% of the time when we are comparing, sin is involved in one way or another. Let me explain.

When we compare we are usually doing one of two things- being prideful or being ungrateful and jealous. All three heart attitudes are sins that Jesus had to die for.

Often when I compare, I’m thinking about how someone has it seemingly “better” than me. They have a better body, or newer clothes, or a nicer house. They have more free-time or a kinder family or their personality is somehow “better” than mine. This is all covetousness (jealousy). I am jealous of their body, their stuff, their lifestyle. When I entertain these thoughts I’m rolling around in my own sin like a pig happily rolls around in the mud. When I have thoughts like this, like the jealousy I had as a girl over the dolls, not only am I coveting, but I’m also being ungrateful. As a child I had tons of toys and dolls to play with and a blessed childhood. Instead of being grateful for all my parents did bless me with, I focused on what I wanted and didn’t have instead. 20-ish years later I’m doing the same thing. Jesus, help me!

Other times when I compare (it’s about to get real honest up in here!) it’s in a way that I think I have it better than others- and this, my friends, is nothing other than the disgusting sin of pride. I may think happily “I have xyz……. and they don’t” and in the dark recesses of my heart I sometimes find this ugliness residing. More often than I’d like to admit. Left to my own devices my heart is incredibly ugly. And this is why I need Jesus.

I bet I’m not alone in either of these struggles- jealousy, ungratefulness, and pride. It’s a struggle probably everyone can relate to at some time or another. I’m so thankful that Jesus loves me enough to convict me and want to change my heart in these areas.

 

So if these attitudes I’ve had are sinful- how can I work with the Lord to change my heart and have a Christlike attitude?

One thing I need to do (and I cannot do this on my own- it MUST be a work of the Holy Spirit IN me!) is turn my pride into humility and gratitude. If the Lord has blessed me with something (which He certainly HAS overflowed my life with His blessings) I need to be thankful for it, and remember that is comes from JESUS and these blessings should be used FOR Jesus. My possessions- home, car, etc…my family….my health….my time…..these are all blessings from the Lord that He has entrusted to me to steward and use for HIS glory, not my own. One day I will stand before Jesus and I will have to give an account for what I did with what He gave me. With many blessings comes responsibility to USE it for Him.

Secondly, when I catch my heart comparing myself and my life with others I need to remember that God gives different things to different people because He alone knows what is ultimately best in the grand, eternal scheme of things. My friend’s calling on her life is completely different than mine. God has given her things He hasn’t given me, and that is because she has a different mission than I do. Although my sister (or brother) in Christ and I should have the same goal in life- ie- furthering Christ’s kingdom- how he or she will go about doing that will not look the same as me. God gives different people different gifts and similarly He causes each of His children to go through different hardships for His glory and His eternal purposes as well. He knows what is best and will give Him the most glory. We don’t.

It makes me think of one of Jesus’ parables in the gospel of Matthew, chapter 25: 14-30:::

You can read it below:

            The Parable of the Talents

¹⁴ “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants^[a]and entrusted to them his property. ¹⁵ To one he gave five talents,^[b] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then hewent away. ¹⁶ He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. ¹⁷ So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. ¹⁸ But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money.¹⁹ Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ ²¹ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.^[c] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’²² And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’²³ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ²⁴ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, ²⁵ so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ ²⁶ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? ²⁷ Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. ²⁸ So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. ²⁹ For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. ³⁰ And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

We see in this story the master gives three people different amounts of talents- to one servant he gives 5 talents, to another servant he gives 2 talents and to the third servant he gives 1 talent. Why different amounts of talents to different servants? He’s the master after all, and he can do what he want. It doesn’t mean he loves one servant any more or any less than the others. The point isn’t how MUCH the master gave each servant, but what the servant DID (or didn’t do) with what he was given. The first two servants used their talents and produced more for the master with them. The third servant did nothing with his talent other than burying it and it produced nothing. Obviously he’s who we don’t want to be. Now for the first two servants- will call the servant who received 5 talents servant A and the servant who received 2 talents servant B. Notice how servant B is never noted as complaining how servant A got more talents than him (over 2 times as more! Instead servant B focused on what he WAS given and put it to good use for the Master. Similarly, we never hear of servant A being prideful about how he got the most talents, but he simply minded his own business (I imagine) and got to work using them. In this parable of Jesus, the Master is equally as happy with servants A and B because they both used the talents the Master gave them.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be like servant A or B. I want to produce something fruitful for God’s kingdom with the gifts, talents, and blessings the Lord has given me. Not only that, I don’t want to compare what God has or hasn’t given me to what He has or haven’t given to others. When I get to heaven I want Jesus say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Oh how I SO deeply long to hear that some day!!

From now on I’m doing my best, with the Holy Spirit’s power and grace, when I catch myself comparing in pride to stop , repent of my prideful heart, and pray that the Lord will humble me and help me remember that HE is the gift giver and it’s all about Him. I’m also asking Jesus to help me overflow what He has blessed me with onto others for His glory and to steward those gifts well. When I compare myself in a coveting way, I also try to stop and pray that I can be grateful for all that God has given me and that I can have a heart that is sincerely happy for the brother or sister next to me who is blessed in a way that I am not. We’re all in this together with a different amount of “talents”. Jesus, and Jesus alone has the power to change our sin-ridden, ungrateful, prideful hearts and make them look more like Him! Instead of comparing and coveting let’s keep our eyes firmly fixed on the cross, and let’s all cheer each other on and build one another up to stay thankful and be good stewards of what the Lord has blessed us with!