Submission isn’t a dirty word

This post largely is about submitting to my husband and the ways that the Lord has blessed us through my submission. I realize that submission is a dirty word in this day and age and is largely misunderstood. In our culture people tend to think submission means abusive men and doormat women. Submission the way God intended isn’t either of those things…by a long shot. Submission, simply put, is trusting God to lead your husband to lead you and your family. Here’s my disclaimer: First off, I really stink at being submissive to my husband a lot of the time. I’m a huge work in progress, but God isn’t finished with me yet!  I’m not telling people how to live their lives or how to interact with their spouse. That’s entirely their business, not mine. My focus is on my marriage and perhaps I can encourage someone else along the way in theirs, who knows. I could type all day telling you MY thoughts about submission, but who cares what I think anyway. I’m just a flawed person doing my best to live life for God, probably just like you. However, if you want to know what GOD has to say about submission I would highly encourage you to check out Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, 1st Peter 3:1-6, 1st Corinthians 11:3, Titus 2:1-15, etc.

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God can often use our submission to our husbands to bless us. Here are two personal examples:

 

The first big instance that I can recall when God used my submission to J to bless our family was when we were first married. J and I had to find an apartment to live in, but he was out of state so I had to make the final decision and sign the lease for us. We both agreed to a particular apartment complex, but we didn’t agree on the particular apartment itself. The complex had different sized apartments, and the rent prices varied based on the size. J wanted us to rent the smallest (and cheapest) apartment available. I wanted one of the bigger and pricier apartments. For once I didn’t fight him, but allowed J to make the final call…so we signed a lease for the smallest and cheapest apartment you could possibly imagine. (Think the size of a walk-in closet plus a bathroom. Seriously.) A few months later was move in day for us. When we arrived to our tiny apartment, the person who lived there before us totally TRASHED it. It was a disgusting dirty disaster. Our landlord was embarrassed and didn’t want us to have to clean it all up. We asked the landlord if he had any other apartments that size and price that we could move into instead. He told us that no, he didn’t have any others that cheap, but he did have one of the bigger apartments available. And get this….he told us we could move into the bigger apartment for the price of the cheapest small apartment that we signed our lease for!! We could have never afforded the bigger, more expensive apartment but God blessed us with it anyway! Also, we didn’t know it yet, but 9 months later we would have our first baby. The THREE of us would have never been able to live in that first teeny tiny apartment we signed for. And God knew that  It was in His great sovereignty and providence that HE gave us the bigger apartment…. for the price of the cheaper one! If I had not submitted to J’s decision, we would have signed the lease for the bigger apartment (and the bigger pricetag!) Isn’t God amazing?!

 

The second big instance when I submitted to my husband is in regards to a Bible study that he leads called Valor. It’s a long story, but back when we lived in Champaign he was sought out and asked if he would lead a college Army Bible study. At the time I was very pregnant, we were about to move to a new town (where he would lead the study) and we were both going to be going to school full-time WITH a newborn at home and no childcare (one of us was always home with our baby when the other one was in class.) Needless to say, we had a lot on our plate. Anyway, J felt called to lead and host this Bible study in our apartment and he thought it would be a good idea to serve dinner to the people that came….meaning I would be the one primarily responsible to make the meals, and he would help me. I instantly thought to myself, “Are you out of your ever-loving mind?!?! We already can’t handle all of our responsibilities and now you’re going to add a Bible study and dinner in to the mix?!?” (I didn’t say that, just thought it to myself, haha!) I did however tell J how I felt in a calm and respectful way. I told him my concerns, and I told him I didn’t necessarily think it was a good idea. Long story short, J felt God clearly telling him to lead the study, and I felt God telling me to simply trust Him. We went ahead and started the ministry. For the past year the Valor Bible study has been a huge success because people are meeting Jesus and growing in Him (not really because of anything we are doing). Get this: three people committed their lives to Christ at Valor. We’ve literally seen lives changed and people transformed right before our very eyes. The ministry and the hearts of our friends are on fire for the Lord. God is moving in amazing ways that FAR surpass anything I would have ever expected. If I had not submitted to my husband, and if J had not listened to the call of the Lord and never stared this Bible study…well it’s possible those three people would not be saved right now. Yikes, how sobering is that thought? Praise the Lord for all He has done through Valor, and all that He will continue to do in this next year. This is not about me and J…. this is not our ministry. This is not our doing. Valor is GOD’s ministry, GOD’s doing, and God drawing people to himself. We’re simply part of the tools He is using to do so, and that is very humbling. I’m so thankful that my husband heard and obeyed God’s call to start Valor even though I didn’t think it was a good idea. I’m so thankful that I decided to submit to his leadership and trust his judgment. God is good. His ways are best. You can never go wrong when you obey Jesus.
I hope these two little examples of submission are an encouragement to somebody. I am such an imperfect wife (and I’ve got a LOT to learn, just ask my family!) In this season God is doing a great work in my heart slowly over time. I know that He wants to do something great in your life too, if only you will follow His lead. Like I said, you can never go wrong by obeying Jesus. Get in the Word and see what Jesus has to say to you!

Soli Deo Gloria